When you're givin your ass away (easily)

*post soundtrack: Carcass - Swansong

One would persome that life of a dude designin band stuff is uber awesome! Well, that may be true if your office is next to porn studio in LA, or above Immortal rehearsal garage, or just not here where I am.

For the last year my day looks like this (more/less):

1 - wake up at 7:30 AM
2 - coffee, cigs, mail and facebook check
3 - work till 2:00 PM
4 - I throw in some gaming...to rest the eyes
5 - more work till 3:30 PM
6 - first meal around 4 or 5 PM
7 - beer -> sleep break
8 - more work/gaming
9 - sleep, around 1 or 2 AM

One meal, a lot of cigs and coffee, 6 hours of sleep. It goes the same for Saturday, Sunday, except I can sleep til 9, or sometimes till 11 AM.

I've lost my patience for almost everything; other, not so close friends and people problems, world crysis, drama and crime movies, TV program, proper ass wipe, weather systems and new world order. My spine is a torture device and my ass is slowly necrotising. Is it worth of it? Fuck yeah! I'd do it all over in a blink of an eye.

There's nothing fancy about this job. Sure, I've counted around 130 band shirts in my closet, gazillion CD, movies, video games. That shit would seriously impress any 13 year old female metalhead. I'm a fuckin star! ..... except, I fuckin surely ain't!

The earning is ok, still cannot pay the bills and live normaly with it. As my dear friend from Serbia would tell: "Only fame and glory". It's true. One cannot compete with hundreds of indonesian quick photoshoppers and ilustrators. Now, pay attention, not talking about quality here. I've seen maaybe 3 or 4 good ones, the rest is just junk. You can't compete with "lord of logos" Christophe Szpajdel, who is realy awesome and normal guy. We talked on a few occasions and I even helped him with some logos. One can only continue to do his stuff and do it the best way he can (input "she" if you are offended). And I surely want to believe I'm doin my job right. Hopefully, the time will tell!

Dark Lunacy, Dia De Los Muertos, Hellhounds and Amon Amarth shirts are done. Fog of War, Hatchet, The Sin Eater covers are done. Life goes on. Sometimes you can't help but to think it's all done for fuckin facebook likes.

Funny fact about artist life -  Behemoth played 500 meters from my flat. I didn't show up (although I have that sexy 2 headed eagle and chaos star tattooed on my back). I think this comes with the age. First tought was - Cool, will check 'em. 2nd tought was - too many kids out there and some really retarded past life "friends" I relly don't wanna check on nor talk with them. Moshing in front of stage, where every kid is tryin to high kick you with his/hers shinny dr Martens boots, is also outta question.

2 years ago I travelled 300 km to see Therion in our capital (where I am atm). Now, it's not my fave band but I dig many of their albums. I went just to meet with Snowy Shaw. Got into minor beer argue with Kris - who is 2 heads shorter then I am (I was properly drunk by the end). Katarina Lilja and Lori Lewis are such a lovely ladies! Concert was good. Great sound. I remember travelling to the venue and seeing fans around me. FUCK. I realised I'm effin old. They were all dresses in black, hard female makeup, talk about Therion songs..etc..etc. For fuck sake, I just took what was really confortable to wear that day. Blue jeans, hoodie and jacket. I was a lone hobo. Loved it!

Anyhow, to cut the crap - yeah, my ass is killin me, my spine too, but it's ok, I love this whole thing, I love the scene with the same passion I enjoyed it while I was 15. No one involved in this cannot end rich, but fuck it, the passion, soul and love for the music is something no money can buy! Life has a purpose now. (beside eventual bestiality here and there)

Nude guy out.